December 31, 2012

Febreeze, Aliens and Bat smells

So today we cleaned.


Like... REALLY cleaned.

It's not that we're just disgusting and never clean, per say, it's just that since we've multiplied our level of cleanliness has definitely ... dropped a few notches.

Like, cheerios crunching under foot really don't bother me that much and the thought actually runs through my head of, "they're biodegradable after all" as I mindlessly wipe the excess crumbs off my foot before walking on.

That kind of clean.

This past month where we live in West Texas we've had big dust storms.

Let me rephrase that. This past month where we live we've had big, ugly, gross, dust storms that make you think you should whip out a bonnet and go stand in a prairie and look off onto the horizon for the men to be gettin' on back now ya' hear.

Like... I don't remember them being like this even in my childhood and I remember distinctly the way my kindergarten teacher's husband's big toe looked as he thumped it steadily while playing the guitar for us back in the early 80's. No lie y'all.

I remember this stuff.

So that means it's been dusty. Like, we're driving in the car and I'm "faux" gagging and telling Jacob dramatically, "The dust! The dust! I can taste the dust!"

And he's like, "Um... yeah... there's always dust in the air around here."

But you know, when you're pregnant you get super human powers no human would ever want. Like crazy bat smelling abilities. Not like, I can smell crazy bats, or even bats period. But like, bats have super sonic hearing and that's how my smell is.

Exactly. I knew you would get it.


So today we got down to brass tacks (is that rude to say? We can't decide. We not being my multiple personalities but we being Jacob and I in case you got worried there) and "we" really cleaned.

So that brings me to the point of this post.

I was working away in our bedroom and I was really amazed at how good it smelled. Like, really really good. I kept looking around thinking maybe Jacob had lit a candle.

And I dusted.

I dusted everywhere.

Even baseboards.

(Shouldn't there be an award for people, especially those carrying little babies inside of them, who get down on their hands and knees and clean the baseboards?)

I just need to repeat it again for emphasis. Y'all... I got down and DUSTED the BASEBOARDS. As in, the boards at the base of the walls... That's right. Me. Dust. Base. Boards.

The entire time I felt really organized, and productive and really just pious about the whole thing.

Add to that the fact that our house really did smell like one big amazing apple had exploded in a cinnamon oven. You know, an oven made of cinnamon that bakes ginormous apples- obviously.

So Jacob walks in and I proudly show him the dirty cloth and say in all capital letters, "I CLEANED THE BASEBOARDS YO!"

And he smiled or made a kind comment and then I said, "Can you believe how good the house smells?!"

I have to interject here that I had already dusted the kitchen (windowsill), dining room, living room etc.

So there we were again with me feeling all Martha Stewart in The Big Cinnamon Apple saying, "Can you believe it smells so AMAZING?"

And then Jacob nonchalantly points at a can on our dresser and says that quite obviously, "It's the Febreeze."

Well... I don't like Febreeze and I say, "What Febreeze?" with a look on my face like he just spoke the wrong language and backwards with bad grammar (that bad).  Like, he just as well could have said, "It's that baby alien putting cheese in your ear my corn husk sock".

I kept incredulously looking at him until it dawned on me.

Yep.. You guessed it... I dusted our entire house (EVEN the BASEBOARDS) with Febreeze.

Febreeze.

Even... the baseboards.

1 comment:

Jennifer Mykytiuk said...

I have laughed so hard reading your last two posts! Hilarious!

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