September 16, 2010

Typical Day of a Nutty Teacher

The other day a great blog I like to follow posted the steps of a normal day for her. Here's mine.

Moaning in the dark
5:30am the alarm goes off. I turn it off and moan.
6:00am second alarm goes off. Jacob rolls over and says, "Weren't you going to get up early?"
6:30am I look at my watch and moan/half cry at the void that is responsibility that I must get out of bed before 10 am. Shuffle to the bathroom in my pity.
6:35 am Stare in the mirror wondering what the bare minimum I have to do to make THAT look professional
6:40 put on make up, deoderant and lotion- not in that order
6:45 do something to my hair to make it look done
6:50 pull out four outfits, try on two, moan again, settle on something
6:55 drink coffee, fat free milk with bran and moan when I look at the clock
6:57 still chewing bran and throwing my left over coffee down the drain as I grab my excuse for a lunch and hit the door running
7:00 curse car in front of me for driving like they don't have somewhere to be in 30 minutes and lessons still to go over and papers still to copy. Just saying.

The Madness that is School
7:30 pull up to school with radio blaring and resent that I actually have to get OUT of the car and quit listening to morning show
7:35 set up laptop, refresh date on board, go through lessons, look at copies of paper
7:55 bell rings, I smile and act chipper and say "Good morning!" to every soul I see and even sing on occasion. People think I'm happy.
7:59 begin saying, "Sign my tardy book" ten times in a row, in as nice yet authoritative tone as possible. Begin crowd control/motivational speaker/disciplinarian/teacher act for the next 2 hours.

The Sweating Panic Mode
9:30 the bell rings for conference period. I panic. Break into a sweat. Go to the bathroom wishing I could multi-task and grade papers/make copies and plan while I'm in there. I can't.

9:35 RUSH downstairs to my car, speed (YES.. I said SPEED) down the street to where our disciplined students are kept and teach a mini-lesson in rushed tones.
10:20am SPEED back and PULL up like a nut into my parking spot, leap out of my car and rush back up to my room. I really am sweating now. The bell rings. The one period of 45 minutes JUST FOR ME has just ended.
12:15 last student leaves for lunch. I begin to talk with a wonderful colleague while simultaneously seeing how quickly I can chew and swallow without choking.
12:49 bell rings. Students flow back into class. I try to be chipper. And organized.. But "WHERE THE HECK ARE THE PAPERS I JUST HAD IN MY HANDS???"
12:56 Students think I'm scatterbrained and probably disorganized. They stare and giggle.
12:57 Find lost papers on podium in front of me just hidden by a folder I used the period before. I stop sweating.
3:25 bell rings and students leave. I look at my mess of a desk and leap across the hall to see if I'm the only one that is this flustered (and yes.. I think I do that EVERY day and YES I think I am the only one flustered every time).
3:30 walk back in my room and sit in my chair and stare. Into space. Drooling.

Nothing ever felt so good.

3:35 I set a timer for 60 minutes to motivate myself to tackle the mess that magically appeared on my desk throughout the day. I grade. I organize.
4:35 Timer goes off. I made a tiny dent and am leaving no more ahead than when I showed up that morning.
4:36 set timer again.
5:35 Load up my little-old-woman-saving-my-back buggy with my things. The janitor breathes a sigh of relief because "the crazy one with the buzzer who stares into space and drools" is finally leaving... with a buggy.

Second Drool Phase
6pm arrive home with high hopes of cleaning, exercising, reading and spending time with husband while somehow simultaneously planning that "cool thing" I want to do tomorrow in class... I sit...
6:30pm Did I really sit down thirty minutes ago? Crap.
7pm Frankly, Jacob cooks dinner. I'm so grateful I may cry. We eat.
7:30 pm I don't have the heart to do anything but sit at this point. Drool? Perhaps. You'll have to ask Jacob.
9:30 pm Jacob goes to bed. I follow.
10pm I'm finally about to fall asleep, thrashing and thinking about that darn alarm clock tomorrow.

What is your day like?


Brandon and April said...

you're hilarious.
and I feel like I need a nap now. :)

Jennifer Mykytiuk said...

Oh I can totally relate!

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