September 12, 2009

The Showdown: Pro-crastinator Strikes again!



I have 56 essays to grade, and 75 presentations to mark and then grades to input...

With this in mind I have nibbled frantically, lounged purposefully and procrastinated fully. I have a gift for avoiding work. A sick, sick gift.

I tell my students I should have a government job of sorts just hiding things. We'd have to come up with a cooler title but that would be my job. The Hider. Because I get to work early, organize my day, go over plans, clean my desk, and BAM! By 4th period it's an explosion. A wreck. A veritable Nickelodeon obstacle course just short of slime. 

Where's that paper you just handed me? Don't ask stupid questions child!* How should I know where I JUST PUT IT DOWN? What do I look like? A genie?  I'm a teacher you see! I'm not MEANT TO KNOW WHERE THINGS ARE!

 *Exits in a mad flourish of papers and chalk dust*

And as always, just after said-student has walked away, or the time period of need has passed. Voila! I find it. It's magical. Magic dust and fairies. The works.

It's a gift.

On to the purpose of this post. (And yes, I do typically have a purpose). 

It's accountability time. I am signed up for the half marathon February 14. 

Since then school has waltzed into my life and pompously smacked the precariously stacked "to do" list I teetered around with, sending everything flying away in the wind. Leaving me standing shocked and amazed. 

"School!", I say, through clenched teeth, "We talked about this last year and YOU PROMISED!" 

School thumbs its snotty nose at me and snickers. I carry on, oblivious to the hopelessness of my task.

 "We decided TOGETHER, might I remind you," as I jab my shaking finger in school's solid chest, "that this year you would let me keep a personal life." 

"My finger's were crossed!" snickers school, as he lurks into a dark corner to hide while still monitoring my every move.

That just drives me nuts. Everyone knows school is totally right. How could I have childishly not checked for crossed fingers?! 

I've been fooled again.

Point being. I haven't run. Not a step. I'll be basically starting from scratch. I have to somehow avoid school's phone calls and not answer the doorbell when he rings. I have to evade this slimy foe that is obsessed with my personal time. That's right. I said what I said.  I have to stand up for myself and tell school, "Not in MY house you don't".

I have to muster my courage and draw the lines, "When we play at your house, then you make the rules, but you can't come over unannounced and spend the weekend here with me and my husband. You are ruining my weekends and I won't stand for it!"

"I can't function like this!", I imagine myself firmly saying. I also imagine school will say, "Fine. All you had to do was ask," before he gets in his little yellow school bus and whizzes away- leaving skid marks on my empty driveway.

Ahh... Hope for the future. Yes.

So I'll be posting my running updates. Today is perfect weather. I just may have to go run.

Take that school.

*Disclaimer:  I would never call a question stupid or a student child or vice versa. This is meant for entertainment value only and in no way is meant to be an accurate representation of how I treat my students. 

2 comments:

HCammack said...

I haven't run either and am supposed to do another 5K Oct. 3rd...

Jackson4 said...

Now that has to be one of the top 3 funniest things I've read this week!!

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