September 14, 2009

I'll show you awkward.

Five Things.

Things you might hear if you too were an english teacher.

1. Random girl: "That is so awkward!"
   Introvert boy who has barely spoken all year mutters under breath to himself:  "I'll show you awkward". 
Dead silence.
Indeed.. He DID show her awkward.
This is now an immortalized quote in my classroom. I'm thinking of having it tattooed across my forehead. Because that would be- you know- awkward.

2. "The cuts!!! They're burrrnnningg!"  

Freeze everything. Let's have a chat.  Guys.. It's the FOURTH week of school now. You're seniors.. Let's get this one thing straight: HAND SANITIZER will make your cuts burn... Leave the histrionics at the door. 

That's my job.

3. "Miss, you look like you walked through a bush backwards." 
      My confidence has never been higher. Thank you.

4.  School goes into a "Yellow code" Lockdown. 
New teacher freezes in uncertainty after locking door.
A confident student announces firmly, "There must be one crazy Mother out there." 
Teacher mode kicks in: "That is NOT appropriate!" 
Awkward silence.
"No, really miss... I think there is a crazy mother out there... Like, looking for her kid."
   Oh. My bad.

5.  French student: Can I have a shit of paper? 
Teacher: EXCUSE ME?!
French student says more loudly, enunciating each syllable: "I WANT A SHIT OF PAPER!"

Ah yes... The joys are many my friends.

My job is done here... I've left my mark on the world.

Over and out.


jarcarhar said...

I am dying! My, how our lives have turned out so similarly!

Merissa said...

Georgia, have you ever thought about writing a book? You are an incredible writer!

Anonymous said...

This post makes me feel...well...awkward.
jk - hilarious.

Jackson4 said...

Oh Georgia, funny as usual! I so wish I could have been in your class when the lockdown took place. I think I might have died laughing!

Dani and Greg said...

Freakin hilarious. We NEED to hang out. I JUST read your note on my blog - can you tell I'm chasing around kids all day?!! Especially now that marlys is WALKING. No kidding.

jordan said...

bahaha...I read these to Drew and we laughed out loud. good stuff.

The Reeds said...

Jordan, I'm sure being a mother and living overseas you have a lot you could add to these! :)

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