June 18, 2009

Random..nity..

It's what I do best. Don't judge.

Little balls of randomness thrown at you so fast you don't have a chance to duck.. or take cover...

I was reading something today that totally brought to mind how sadly I always wanted to be a middle child. All my life, through childhood up to say.. 5 minutes ago, I've wanted to be a middle. I figure they have it made in the shade, They can be bossy and nurturing all at once and everyone loves the personality of a middle. A very good number of my friends are middle children. They are the masters of negotiation and mediation. So easy to get along with. The only thing I can negotiate is which ice cream to eat first at the end of a long day..... trifling through magazines and working my fingers to the bone.... tapping away on my mac...

I blame every weakness I have on the fact that I didn't have a younger sibling to sharpen or hone said-"missing skill".  Isn't that a sick sick thing to always wish for? A younger sibling?

I'm a sicko. Step right up and throw a pie ladies and gentlemen. Pay your penny and step into see the freak. That's me.

Since I've officially enjoyed two weeks (or more?) of holiday I want to highlight for you all of the BIG NEWS you can't live without:

1. Daisy has goop in her eye.. instead of taking her to the vet I wipe it away and act like she's better. I have officially "goop swiped" for 2 weeks....
2.  I have sworn I wouldn't leave the house without organizing my closet that VERY DAY officially TWICE.. I don't need to detail more about the state of said-closet.
3. Like a good girl, I randomly rented movies (aka wasted money) in the middle of the week. I am not sorry for this because it finally got us to watch "GRAN TORINO"- one of my new favorite movies.  Go Clint. Good job.
4. We have had several summer thunderstorms complete with hail.. last night I dreamt my car stalled in a storm and a hail stone the size of a meteor crashed into my car... Then I realized I had overslept.. I am sure this has incredibly deep meanings you should all ponder during your work breaks. Ready? Ponder.

Okay.. moving on.

5.Two distinct images come to me during Zumba class:
a. Dirty Dancing... We're dancing outside... Our great instructor at my gym is the pretty blonde skinny lady who can dance well, because... well... she CAN dance well and she is pretty...All of us floundering awkward looking women are the awkward hotel guests sputtering about on the lawn. I think I must be the old woman with the oversized sun hat who steals wallets.. it's the only explanation..I am most definitely NOT "Baby" in this scenario which bothers me....
      b. our excellent instructor is vivacious...
       Lately she has started making us look in the mirror and say, "I'm BEAUTIFUL!" to our reflections before we begin to shimmy.. We can't stop until we all say it loudly enough... I keep picturing the old SNL skit where the guy looks in the mirror and says he's smart enough and that doggonit people like him! 

Should I be alarmed?

Have I gone crazy at this point?

Is your wallet safe with me in the room?

Does this sun hat make my head look small?

Love creepily,
Old Woman in Oversized Sun Hat doing the Mamba




6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for making me laugh this morning.
Stacy

jarcarhar said...

I am laughing so hard...this is how I needed to start my day! Remember that even baby started out just carrying a watermelon...

HCammack said...

Georgia, you are hilarious. I love reading your blog. One, because your hysterical and two because I love your random, overanalytical mind...it justifies my own. Here's hoping you get that closet clean and continue to write these random musings throughout the summer.

Brandon and April said...

can you please write a post like this every day hence forth? because well, today it's been a real highlight. :)
and just fyi: I'm a middle. and yes, I'm a very good negotiator!

Anonymous said...

Well, I missed the whole middle child thing --- SO MY QUESTION IS 'YOU WANTED A LITTLE SISTER THAT ALWAYS GOT HER WAY - ALWAYS DID THINGS BETTER AND FASTER - ALWAYS GOT ALL THE ATTENTION BECAUSE SHE WAS CUTE - I COULD GO ON AND ON.

PS - Do you recall the time that we were told to clean our rooms? You put EVERYTHIHNG in your closet. Dallas and I KNEW you were going to be in trouble but NO - Dad thought it was so cute ---- by the end of the day we cleaned as much of your room as you did!!!!

The Reeds said...

I must say that he didn't specify HOW he wanted our rooms cleaned....

I aim to please. :)

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