June 26, 2008

What to write

Sometimes it's hard to know what to write. It's part of this 'battle' of dealing with our new 'reality'.

We got a couch from a wonderful couple about an hour from where we live. They heard of us through a couple on a missions committee, that met us through a woman I met at Tech.. phew.

They just gave us a couch, bed, desk, and anything else we could carry. We were so blessed.
Then we got a washer and dryer from the first couple on the missions committee (that's the easiest way to explain it). As our new home comes together, and becomes a "livable" domain by western standards, we stand amazed. We've been blessed so much, and we have so much to be grateful for and to rejoice in.

Then I read a post on Terrill and Amber's new blog. A group going out to get firewood for charcoal ran into "the enemy" (I assume) and many died. This is senseless violence and seemed to be on the rise in Kaabong when we left. Not deaths from raiding and ambushes (which I concede are also senseless)- but simple killings of innocent civilians, during daylight hours, becuase they run into a raiding party in the bush. It's so depressing and unfair. It's reality for them.

Maytag washers, couches, and decisions about watering our lawn are our reality... It's hard, and it's a struggle I can't put into words or explain. While I try and squeeze in enough exercise so I won't get fat, friends we know and love struggle to eat enough in the day. And I struggle to find a "comfortable place" where survival is a term we equate with reality shows set in semi-remote areas... Not true survival. It's hard once suffering and death have surrounded you (even in our "safe" culture of home), to go back to taking your health and safety for granted.

Interviewing for jobs has been a hard factor to tie in. I think it's hard becuase it relies a lot on image.. What you wear, how you do your hair... The jargon you use.. Are you familiar with the state-testing objectives. yada yada.. And while I want a job- I think of millions of people around the world who are occupied in surviving this day. And that makes it hard to care too much about these things. I want to say, "Come on, let's be honest with each other- does this matter?" And the answer from them would be a resounding, "YES".

Through it all again and again I am astounded by God's goodness; His hope and love. I imagine through this, I have seen only the smallest glimpse of what God deals with constantly: People preoccupied with completely insignificant details. Letting the "fluff" rule and direct their lives. Oh Lord how guilty I am of that. I hope I can work towards letting Him trully rule my life.

So it's hard to know what to post...


Jennie said...

from this side it sounds like you have the good life, but I know its tough being so far away & truly a world away in terms of daily survival and meeting needs. keep living to honor God first & let Him lead you to how life should be balanced. your tender heart and deep compassion are not in vain - love you lots!

Brandon and April said...

you are such a good writer. I love reading your posts.

Leslie said...

You have such a tender heart...I miss you, friend. I wish there was a way to relieve the tension and struggle you're experiencing. Thank you for sharing your heart - it gives the rest of us much to consider and reflect within our own lives.

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